The literal elephant in the room (NO, not me folks)

For Christmas I was given what I wanted to believe was an over sized I pod output speaker. A device in which I can put my I pod in and have it play for me like a stereo.
I thought,sure it is going to take up a lot of room in my house, but what a sweetheart Kevin is to give it to me, he knows how I love my music. Here is a picture of it.

Turns out it is meant for something called exercising. A term I think I can remember hearing many many pounds ago. Well Kevin and Hayden moved this contraption up into our bedroom last night. Now I have a few holes and scuff marks along my walls and a very huge and ugly I pod out put speaker in my room.
This morning I awoke to the feeling someone was staring at me. I opened my eyes and yes, there it was staring me right in the face. So I took off my pillowcase and threw it at it hoping it would cover the portion of it that was staring at me. It missed and fell to the ground. FINE, I thought, I will get up & give it a try. Got in my gear(old holy sweats, a sports bra, and old running shoes)got a drink of water, turned on the t.v. and hopped on.I seemed to be going backwards, and my short stubby arms had a hard time reaching the arm thingers you are supposed to hold onto. Kevin has used it several times, so I know what it is supposed to look like when being used, and I know I did not look like that. I went 2 awkward minutes. Then I figured out how to move forward. This isn't so bad I thought! I can do this! I looked at the timer, it said I had 28 more minutes left, no problem I thought! 3 minutes later I was on my bed, writhing in pain, I have never had a charlie horse in my bum before. After squeezing it and rubbing it for another 5 minutes, I decided to try yet again. Went a total of 5 minutes,got off, I had to wobble over to the bed due to the fact that my legs had turned to apricot jelly.(apricot, because that is my least favorite kind)Guess I will have to try try again. However, I think a nice book would have made a nicer Christmas present. Guess if all else fails, it will really make a nice over-sized I pod outlet speaker.